At first, it feels like the dream.
They text you constantly. Compliment you endlessly. Make you feel like the center of the universe.
You think, Wow… I’ve finally found the one.
But then, something shifts. The pressure creeps in. The pedestal starts to wobble. And what once felt like butterflies starts to feel like anxiety.
You might be experiencing love bombing and unfortunately you’re not alone.
💣 What Is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is a form of manipulation where someone overwhelms you with excessive attention, affection, gifts, or promises—too much, too soon.
It’s not real intimacy. It’s a strategy (conscious or unconscious) to create quick attachment and gain control.
Love bombing is often followed by withdrawal, gaslighting, or emotional instability once the “honeymoon” high fades.
🚩 How to Spot Love Bombing
1. It Feels Intense Right Away
They’re calling you “soulmate” on day three. Talking about moving in together by week two. The pace is dizzying, and you barely have time to think. It feels romantic, but also kind of… rushed.
2. They Don’t Respect Your Pace
If you ask to slow things down, they act hurt, pouty, or guilty. Healthy partners respect boundaries. Love bombers try to bulldoze them.
3. They Make You Feel Indebted
They give extravagant gifts or grand gestures, but it doesn’t feel free. You might feel like you “owe” them something in return. That’s not generosity. It’s control wrapped in ribbon.
4. They Isolate You
They want you all to themselves. Slowly, you stop seeing friends. You feel guilty texting your ex-coworker. They make comments like, “I’m the only one who really gets you.”
5. Their Words Don’t Match Their Actions
They say all the right things… but their follow-through is inconsistent. They tell you you’re perfect—then criticize you for being too emotional. The highs are high, and the lows are confusing.
🛡️ How to Avoid Falling for Love Bombing
1. Know Your Worth Before You Date
If you’re lonely or healing from heartbreak, excessive attention can feel like love. But the more grounded you are in your identity, the less likely you’ll be swept away by flattery.
2. Take Things Slow
Healthy love grows over time. It builds on trust, shared values, and respect—not overnight declarations or whirlwind romance.
3. Stay Connected to Trusted People
Isolation is a love bomber’s playground. Stay close to friends and family. If they raise red flags, listen even if it’s hard to hear.
4. Trust Your Gut
If something feels off, don’t dismiss it. Real love should feel steady, not suffocating. Safe, not stressful.
5. Talk to a Therapist
If this pattern feels familiar, you’re not broken. You’re probably carrying unmet needs that make you more vulnerable to love bombing and you can heal them.
Real love doesn’t need to convince you it’s real.
It shows up with consistency, not chaos.
It honors your boundaries, it doesn’t blur them.
It feels peaceful, not performative.
If someone comes on strong, step back and ask yourself:
Is this love… or is it a performance meant to win me over?
You deserve steady, safe, and sincere.
Sarah Murcko 
Leave a comment