Sarah Murcko

The early days of dating are exciting, but also where we tend to overlook warning signs. The road to finding love shouldn’t feel confusing, chaotic, or heavy.

Here are some red flags I see come up often in counseling with couples:

1. They Don’t Respect Boundaries

Whether it’s physical, emotional, or digital. If they push your limits or make you feel guilty for saying no, pause.

2. They Move Too Fast

Rushing intimacy, saying “I love you” on week two or talking about marriage to you before you know each other well might feel flattering, but it can also be a sign of emotional immaturity or manipulation.

3. They Avoid Accountability

Do they always blame their exes? Get defensive in disagreements? Shrug off your concerns? A relationship can’t thrive without ownership. Healthy long term relationships require self awareness and the maturity to take responsibility for faults and mistakes.

4. You Feel Emotionally Drained

Pay attention to how you feel after time with them. Are you energized or constantly second-guessing yourself?

5. Your Friends or Family Have Concerns

Sometimes the people closest to us see things we can’t. Don’t dismiss every concern, especially if it’s echoed by multiple people.

Red flags don’t always mean you have to end the relationship immediately, but they do mean you should slow down, reflect, and maybe even talk to a trusted counselor or mentor.

Don’t confuse intensity with intimacy. The healthiest relationships feel calm, safe, and mutual, not like a rollercoaster.