Sarah Murcko

If you’ve ever wished your marriage came with a manual… well, this is as close as it gets.

Dr. John Gottman is a world-renowned relationship researcher who has spent over four decades studying what makes marriages succeed or fail. What he found isn’t just theory, it’s practical, proven, and pretty eye-opening.

In his best-selling book, The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work, Gottman outlines the core habits and patterns that happy, lasting couples share. I recommend this book to almost every couple I work with. Why? Because it’s both research-backed and relationship-relatable.

Here’s a quick look at the 7 principles:

1. Enhance Your Love Maps

Know the inner world of your partner: fears, dreams, stresses, favorite cereal, all of it. When life gets hard, this map helps you stay connected.

2. Nurture Fondness and Admiration

Actively look for things you like about your partner. It sounds simple, but this is one of the strongest buffers against contempt (the biggest relationship killer).

3. Turn Toward Instead of Away

Every day, we make small “bids” for connection like eye contact, jokes, a touch. Happy couples respond to these bids more often than not. They “turn toward” each other.

4. Let Your Partner Influence You

This means sharing power, hearing each other out, and respecting your partner’s perspective even if you disagree.

5. Solve Your Solvable Problems

Some problems can be resolved with good communication and compromise. Gottman gives practical tools for having productive conflict (yes, it exists!).

6. Overcome Gridlock

For those “unsolvable” issues? Gottman teaches how to approach them with empathy, not just problem-solving. Often it’s about deeper dreams and values.

7. Create Shared Meaning

What kind of life are you building together? Traditions, rituals, goals, and values all play a role in feeling like you’re truly on the same team.

Ready to Dive In?

This book isn’t just helpful—it’s hopeful. Whether you’re newly married or 20 years in, The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work offers real insight and real tools.

📚 Grab your copy here → 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work

Or gift it to another couple you love. It’s a great starting point for meaningful conversation.